V is for, of course, victory. Everyone wants victory in their relationships. It serves no purpose to do anything without having a goal of winning at the end. We go to work to collect a paycheck at the end of the work cycle. We become pregnant at the hopes that at the end we have a healthy baby to love and cherish. We save money in hopes of at the end being able to purchase what we want at the desired time. So, it is with our relationships – we want to WIN! We do not create relationships with the intent to lose or to walk away hurt, battered and bruised.
For us to win, there are two key components to maintaining a lasting relationship: discretion and understanding. Proverbs 2:11 says discretion will preserve you and understanding will keep you. For your relationship to be successful you must be discrete about what goes on in your relationship. DISCLAIMER…if it is abusive: be it verbal, mental, emotional, physical, spiritual or otherwise…TELL SOMEONE. But if it is none of these things and you experience challenges, discretion is what will help you maintain your relationship. Every relationship has highs and lows but it is keeping all non-factor people out of it until it is resolved and you are back on track that allows you to have great stories to tell your grandchildren about how you two stayed together so long. Nothing is worse than having a challenge with your spouse, friend, or partner, and you tell someone your situation. They are upset right along with you and co-signing your emotional “trip”…right up until you have forgiven that person and you and your spouse are back on good terms. Then the “listening ear” who is still outraged and upset reminds you of why you should not be with that person. Keep your business to yourself and only share with mature people who will be objective on all accounts…even up to telling you…you are wrong!
Understanding is the other half of the coin. Understanding says, we can work through whatever is going on because the greater good is US, and not ME. Life has a funny way of picking and choosing who it is going to frustrate and while it may not be your day, week, or month of frustration, being able to understand when your spouse is having a difficult time is key to longevity. We must be able to place ourselves in the other person’s shoes and see life from their perspective and give them the space to go through their process. It is not always easy or comfortable but it is so well-worth it. We cannot be quick to want to help them and solve their issues. Sometimes all people need is a listening, non-judgmental ear so they can hear what is going on in their minds. Understanding says I am here if you need me. Understanding says I will have the tissues ready for you when you are ready to cry. Understanding says I will not judge whatever you are about to say. Understanding says you will not hear this in the streets. Understanding says I will be here when this is all over.
Victory is inevitable when discretion and understanding is a part of the foundation in your relationship.